Stress
Stress Due to
High Standards
Did you ever notice how many times we keep
should'ing ourselves. If you watch your mind you will notice the
number of times you say, "I should". This is a great experiment
because each day we are often saying things such as, "I should do
this" or "I should do that", "I should complete this task in an
hour" and........ you could fill up as many as you want here.
There aren't just task shoulds but also shoulds
about your own personality. We keep comparing ourselves with
others and try to be more like them. We have too many high
expectations from ourselves, we want to be the best in whatever we
do and to be liked by all and to have a lot of friends, etc...
Sometimes, we even try to change our moods saying
that "I shouldn't be angry" or that "I shouldn't be so moody".
These things are just so unrealistic that it causes a lot of
undue stress on us. We are just one person and we have our own
personal characteristics, our own strengths and weaknesses. We
really dont need to become some super human being who is perfect
in everything. Trying to achieve perfection is the surest way to
cause a lot of undue stress very quickly.
And now after you have read this, dont start to
tell yourself that I shouldn't be having so many high standards
and expectations from myself. This is another form of should'ing
yourself and is again another expectation which you may not be
able to live up to.
An easy way to overcome this is practicing
awareness and watching your mind. Notice all the thoughts that
come up. Notice or even write down the types of should do's that
you tell yourself.
The most important thing to note is that you are
applying a lot of demands on yourself each day and if you feel you
don't perform or meet it then you are disappointed with yourself.
When you fall into self-blame you get discouraged , lose
motivation and then fall back into the cycle of telling yourself
what you should be doing.
How much are you involved in self-criticism? Are some of these
shoulds things you heard from your parents that you don't even
really believe should be done? Where do they come from? When you
write down or note what you are saying, also ask yourself who told
you to do that or why do you think that? This is a good way to get
to the origin of the should.
By watching your mind you will become more
compassionate and kinder to yourself. This will make you less
demanding and more capable of questioning where some of these
standards originate . Are these if standards something you wish to
live up to or are they enslaving you?
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